PROTECTING
CHILDREN FROM ABUSE:
A GUIDE FOR PARENTS, TEACHERS AND CHURCH LEADERS
Responsible
persons seeking to protect children from abuse will:
Acknowledge
Abusive Behavior
Child abuse refers to an act committed by a parent, caregiver
or person in a position of trust (even though he/she may not care
for the child on a daily basis) which is not accidental and which
harms or threatens to harm a child's physical or mental health
or a child's welfare.
There are four basic types of child abuse:
Physical abuse occurs when an adult injures a child physically
and it is not an accident. It includes behaviors such as:
• Assault
• Shaking or slapping
• Burning or scalding
• Kicking
• Strangling
Neglect is any maltreatment or negligence that harms a
child's health, welfare or safety. It can include physical, emotional,
or educational neglect through such actions as:
• Abandonment
• Refusal to seek treatment for illness
• Inadequate supervision
• Health hazards in the home
• Ignoring the child's need for contact, affirmation and
intellectual stimulation
• Providing inadequate emotional nurturance
• Refusal to ensure a child's education
Emotional abuse deeply affects a child's self-esteem by
submitting him/her to verbal assault or emotional cruelty. It
does not always involve injuries one can see. It can include situations
such as:
• Close confinement, such as being shut in a closet
• Inadequate nurturance
• Extreme discipline
• Knowingly permitting such behavior as drug or alcohol abuse
• Ridiculing
Sexual abuse involves sexual contact between a child or
teenager and an adult or significantly older, more powerful person.
Children are not developmentally capable of understanding or resisting
sexual contact and may be psychologically and socially dependent
upon the offender.
Sexual abuse encompasses all inappropriate fondling and touching,
including behaviors such as incest, molestation, rape, oral-genital
contact, and fondling of breasts and genitals. In addition to
sexual contact, abuse can include other exploitive behaviors such
as inappropriate verbal stimulation of a child or teenager, taking
sexually explicit photographs of a child or teenager or showing
such pictures to them, or exposing a child or teenager to pornography
or adult sexual activity.
Use
Appropriate Opportunities to Teach Children
• No one has the right to touch the private parts of their
bodies or make them feel uncomfortable by what they say about
their bodies or anyone else's. Children have the right to say
a loud, emphatic "NO" even to relatives and close friends
who do this.
•
Adults should not ask children to keep secrets about things they
do together. If someone asks a child to keep this kind of secret,
they should tell their parent(s), teacher or another adult right
away. At least one-half of all child sexual abuse occurs within
the family.
•
They are not to allow anyone to take pictures of them partially
or completely undressed. If anyone suggests doing this or shows
them pictures of other children doing this, they are to report
the incident to their parent(s), teacher or another adult at once.
• Children
should report to their parent(s), teacher or another adult if
someone makes silly remarks about sex, shows dirty pictures, or
makes lewd gestures (or any gestures they don't understand).
• Children
should also make such a report if someone offers to give them
gifts or money.
• They should never answer the door when they are home alone.
• They
should never tell anyone calling on the phone that they are home
alone. Nor should they answer any questions.
• They
are never to go into anyone's home or car without previous verbal
permission from a parent. It is not appropriate or safe for parents
to convey such permission through another adult.
• They
are not responsible for helping strange adults look for an address,
a pet, etc. It isn't appropriate for adults to come to children
for such help.
• Children
should know how to use the telephone in an emergency. They should
know their own telephone number and how to use emergency numbers.
They should be taught how to reach an operator on a public telephone
even if they have no coins.
• The
three "Safety and Survival" rules for the prevention
of abuse which all children should know are:
Say "NO"!
Get away fast!
Tell someone!
Recognize
the Possible Indicators of Child Abuse
The possible indicators of abuse listed below do not necessarily
constitute proof that a child is being abused or neglected. They
should serve as warning signs to look further and seek assistance
in determining whether or not a child needs help. Trust your instincts
if you think a family or individual is in trouble. Some possible
indicators are:
Child Indicators
• Self-destructive and other destructive behavior
• Fractures, lacerations, bruises that cannot be explained
or explanations which are improbable given a child's developmental
stage
• Depression, passivity
• Hyperactive/disruptive behavior
• Sexualized behavior or precocious knowledge of explicit
sexual behavior, pseudo-maturity
• Running away, promiscuous behavior
• Alcohol or drug abuse, other self-destructive behavior,
e.g. eating disorders
• Social isolation of child and family
• Unrealistic parental expectations
Parent Indicators
• Parents whose anger at their children appears out of proportion
with the child's behavior
• Parents with negative attitudes toward themselves or their
children
• Parents who are defensive about their own harsh upbringing
Listen
and Believe a Child
Children rarely make up stories about abuse. They simply do not
have the vocabulary or the experience to make up such tales. A
child's report of behavior that makes them uncomfortable is always
worthy of careful attention.
Respond to Suspected Abuse
• Take whatever steps are necessary to protect the child
from further abuse. A report to appropriate authorities is an
important step in assuring this protection.
• Stop the offender's abuse. Contacting law enforcement is
a helpful step in holding abusers accountable and stopping abuse.
• Connect the family with available professional and support
services.
• Rebuild family relationships where repentance and changed
behavior open the way for forgiveness and reconciliation.
• Help the family mourn the loss of important relationships
when reconciliation is not possible.
Involve
Professionals Who Can Help
In many parts of the world, persons in the helping professions—pastors,
teachers, doctors, counselors, police officers, social workers,
health professionals—are legally mandated to report a suspicion
of child abuse or neglect to child abuse authorities. The abusive
behavior of offenders usually escalates over time if it is not
stopped. Involving a wide circle of helping professionals when
dealing with a suspected case of child abuse results in the most
effective intervention for the abuser, in addition to helping
the victim. Repentance, conversion, prayer and spiritual counsel
can help the abuser, but professional intervention is most effective
in holding the perpetrator accountable for his/her actions and
stopping the abuse.
Prepared
by Department of Family Ministries, General Conference of Seventh-day
Adventists, 12501 Old Columbia Pike, Silver Spring, MD 20904 USA,
6/00.
©
Portions are copyrighted by the Center for the Prevention of Sexual
and Domestic Violence, 936 North 34th St., Suite 200, Seattle,
Washington. Permission to reprint for use in congregational settings
is granted. For information about videos and books on domestic
violence and child abuse, contact the Center at (206) 634-1903.
