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THE
LIGHT OF GOD IN A CHILD'S EYES
by
Audray Johnson
Director, Family Ministries,
Southeastern California Conference
North American Division
1997
| Theme:
The spiritual development of our children is an important part
of parenting and is a task of the church. Adults have a positive
duty to enable children's faith in God and to avoid any attitudes
or behaviors toward children that would cause them to stumble. |
| Theme
Text: Mark 9:36-42 |
| Presentation
Notes: Throughout the following outline, numbers in
parentheses (1), (2), (3) are used to indicate items from the
section called Sermon Illumination which may be used
for illustration. The addition of your personal illustrations
will enhance the presentation. |
Like most Christians,
Seventh-day Adventists have been concerned about the character development
of their children. The amount of money we spend for our children's
education and the many denominational schools, academies, colleges
and universities we have built demonstrates how serious we are about
our children. We want them to grow up to be Christians. We want
them to grow up in the church we love and to believe as we have
believed. We want them to be saved. We want them to be in heaven.
So we willingly make sacrifices, live frugally, put off making major
purchases, sometimes even take additional jobs so we can provide
for them.
Despite our concerns and our investment in them, we are painfully
aware that many of our children choose to follow paths different
from what we had dreamed for them. Others seem to have graduated
from church when they graduated from academy or college. What happened?
Why do those who once took such delight in lisping the name of Jesus
seem so far away from Him now?
The answers to the questions of why older children and adolescents
make the choices they do are complex. One important point that must
be made is that spiritual development is not the same as indoctrination.
The religious experience of many youth has been one of indoctrination
rather than spiritual development. Almost anyone can learn a set
of rules or memorize doctrinal statements, but a living relationship
with Jesus, though it includes doctrinal understandings, is surely
much, much more.
Jesus Honored
Children
Jesus identified closely with children. Jesus honored children
and taught us about their spiritual development. In one instance,
He motioned to a child, held the little one in His arms and said,
"Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes
me" (Mark 9:37). What a curious thing for Jesus to say! What
did that have to do with the new kingdom? One can almost hear some
of His disciples thinking, "What does He know about little
kids? Does He know what a mess they can make of things, or what
it costs to raise them, or what the tuition is down at the synagogue
school?"
Jesus elevated the faith of children. A related passage adds
an additional thought, "I tell you the truth, unless you change
and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom
of heaven" (Matt. 18:3). How astonishing that Jesus would hold
up the faith of a child as the standard for entrance into the kingdom!
Do children believe in God? Jesus maintained that they do. Notice
His words, "these little ones who believe in me" (Mark
9:42).
Child psychiatrist Robert Coles (1990) conducted an interesting
study in which he interviewed children from many backgrounds—Roman
Catholic, Baptist, Methodist, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Native American,
atheist, even Seventh-day Adventist. What he learned was that children,
particularly those in the early pre-teen years, do indeed have an
active spiritual life and a definite opinion that God is important
in their lives. Most people who have taken the time to really listen
to children will not find that surprising. Could it be that we have
missed the importance of the work of the Holy Spirit in the lives
of the little ones around us, a work that is taking place whether
we tell the story of Jesus or not, whether we indoctrinate them
or not? Have we missed the fact that God is trying to reach these
little ones, whoever and wherever they are? Why wouldn't He? Why
wouldn't God, who is pouring out His grace on all humankind, find
it valuable to work with human minds who are young, fresh, and more
likely to hear His voice? (1)
Jesus warned about causing children to sin. In earlier verses
in Mark 9, we find that the disciples had been in dispute over who
should be the greatest and they were somewhat uncomfortable with
Jesus' object lesson, as is indicated by their response. The disciple
John changed the subject, bringing up an unrelated incident about
a man whom the disciples rebuked for driving out demons in the name
of Jesus. Jesus honored John with a brief response, but then drew
him and all the disciples back to the point He was making about
children. "And if anyone causes one of these little ones who
believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into
the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck" (Mark
9:42).
What is Jesus talking about when He pronounces such a terrible consequence
upon those who offend a child? What does it mean to cause a child
to sin? Few parents would deliberately teach a child to steal, murder,
or commit other sins. Jesus must be referring to something different
from that. Could it be that Jesus considers this offense against
children to be anything that adversely affects the child's belief
in Him? Evidently Jesus is referring to attitudes and actions that
lead a child away from God, discourages him or her, or does something
that would make it hard for the child to believe in a loving God
of grace. Jesus would have older ones to encourage the spiritual
development of our children and the church's children by teaching,
by examples of grace, love, peace, joy and all the evidences of
the fruit of the Spirit of God within. There are several practical
ways in which we do this.
Safeguarding
a Child's Spiritual Development
Provide your child with emotional security. If it is safe
to talk about anything at home, with reasonable calmness, children
will learn to be comfortable talking about anything with God. If
it is safe to discuss things in Sabbath School and leaders are open
to working with minds that are learning and questioning, then it
will be easy for the child or youth to bring his or her concerns
to God. However, if anger and shouting have become the pattern in
the home, if parents and teachers become disturbed or shocked or
angry with inquisitive young minds, it will be much harder for a
child to believe that everything can be brought to God. The still,
small voice of God may well be drowned out by the angry, hurtful
voices of parents and siblings. A child who grows up in a verbally
abusive atmosphere is left with a hunger for peace, emotional safety,
and someone to listen and take him or her seriously. Too often he
or she may attempt to satisfy that hunger in some spectacular secular
experience or in some deeply spiritual pursuit.
Encourage your child's trust. When home is a caring place
where physical and other needs are met, children readily learn that
God can be counted on to care for them. (2) But what of those who
have been neglected? How shall they learn that God really does supply
our every need?
Develop your child's sense of personal worth. Healthy self-esteem
is formed when children are affirmed and youth are encouraged (and
when Mom, Dad, Grandma, and Grandpa affirm one another!). When children
are made aware of how precious they are to their care-givers, it
will help them to understand that God values them as well. (3) Yet,
discouraging words and, what is worse, soul-destroying expressions
can be uttered so thoughtlessly and flippantly. "You can never
do anything right!" "How can you be so stupid?" "I
wish you had never been born." Many Seventh-day Adventist parents
find it all too easy to hit children on the head with Bible verses
or with Ellen White quotations. Children who are assaulted this
way find it hard to feel valued by anyone, much less by the God
of the universe.
Use appropriate discipline with your child to develop self-discipline
and respect. When children are taught from an early age through
loving and appropriate discipline, they learn to order their lives
with self-discipline. They learn how to live under the authority
of God and to properly respect earthly authorities. Everyone, including
a child, learns respect by being respected. Teaching respect to
children is best done by earning their respect.
Damage Caused
by Family Abuse and Violence
Lack of self-discipline. If children are ruled by punishments,
beatings and other physical abuse, self-discipline will be hardly
learned at all.
Impaired perception of God. What is worse for their spiritual
experience is that, in their minds, God will carry the biggest stick
of all. Many adults have been struggling all their lives to relate
to God as a God of love. Confused, they may have settled for an
intellectual understanding that God probably loves them. However,
they cannot escape the fear that, if they step out of line, God
stands ready to mete out harsh punishments.
Many people in society today have expressed grave concern over the
growing tendency toward violent behavior, particularly among youth.
They believe what is needed is a "return" to corporal
punishments. In their frustration these well-meaning citizens forget
that the worst offenders are almost always individuals who have
already been beaten and abused countless times.
Arrested character development. Recent studies have shown
that the more corporal punishment is used, the less chance there
is for character development. Christians should not be surprised
at this because of the patience and longsuffering of God and His
great reticence to expose His beloved people to any kind of harsh
correction, yet history provides a sad commentary on the use of
harsh punishments by Christians. Seventh-day Adventists should be
even less surprised, for we have specific counsel from Ellen White
about the adverse effects of harsh, punitive correction. (4)
Increased combativeness. Ellen White once travelled westward
by train. At one stop, her attention was drawn to a mother traveling
with several children, one of whom was misbehaving. This woman was
yelling at her son, hitting him, and threatening him with all sorts
of dire punishments when they got home. The whole scene reminds
us of episodes we have seen in public places today! Mrs. White,
however, had the courage to go sit with this mother, listen to her
frustrations and talk to her. Among the things Mrs. White said was,
"Violence will only raise his combativeness and make him still
worse." (5) Remarkably, that is exactly what behavioral scientists
are learning today!
Provide
for Children the Right Kind of Touch
Effects of loving touch. When healthy, appropriate touch
is commonplace in the family, love is learned and returned. Those
affectionate little hugs and kisses, holding children close, reading
to them, telling them stories, those tender moments when little
ones feel loved, those are the times when children learn about love.
The love of parents and other humans teaches about God's love. They
will delight in the stories of Jesus who picked up the children
and held them on His lap. They will carry with them into adulthood
the notion that God delights in them, holding them dear.
The betrayal of sexual abuse. When sexual abuse takes place,
especially by a parent, how can that little one learn what it is
to relate to the perfect love of God? How many adults still struggle
with that today! Only those who have experienced sexual abuse can
understand that while the grace of God helps get them through, the
pain of the experience never completely disappears. Betrayal of
this kind goes to the deepest part of the soul and produces very
ugly scars.
Conclusion
The conclusion to which we are brought is that Jesus views offense
to children so seriously that He reserves the most dire consequence
for those who offend. It is important to have discipline and order
in the home or in society, but such teaching and discipline must
always be in the context of grace. It is often hard to learn to
do things in ways other than they were done to us. Most parents
do things the way their parents did. From generation to generation
habits have been passed down, and cultural programming is hard to
override. But Jesus arrives and informs us, even in our cultural
setting, that we are different! We can, through the power offered
to us, learn the ways of the kingdom of God.
God has called us to serve Him with a heart of love. He has called
us to pass along that love to our children and our children's children.
Beginning with those times when our babies were in the crib, we
taught them our theology as we picked them up. When we ourselves
cried in the crib and we were picked up and kissed, we learned that
we were loved. We teach our children that they are sacred when we
do the same for them.
Jesus had a deep love for the children. They held a special place
in His heart and He held them up as models in the realm of God,
a sacred trust to be treated with special love and compassion. The
innocence, simplicity and trust of the child reveal those dimensions
of God to us as well as give us insight into how human life is meant
to be lived. Their infectious joy consoles and lifts our spirits.
Their ability to attract loving attention is much like that of God,
who's irrepressible love attracts a loving response from us. Let
the children come, for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
|
Sermon
Illumination
|
One
(1): Three-year-old Timothy had not had a good day. In fact,
the past many weeks had been difficult because his Dad had to
go to the hospital again and again for chemotherapy. This time,
however, it seemed to him that Dad was very sick indeed. He
began to worry that Dad would die. Out on the hospital lawn
he cried and screamed and refused to get into the car to go
home. He wanted to go back and be with his Dad. "Daddy's
too sick. He's not going to get better and I won't have a daddy,"
he cried. It took me, his Grandma, a while to get him to realize
that his dad was my little boy and that I was very sad, too.
Knowing someone else shared his sadness seemed to help. He agreed
to go home with me in the car. All the way there this three-year-old
and I talked about Job, part two—our part. It was an adult
conversation about pain and suffering and us and God, only with
a child's vocabulary.
I did not realize what that conversation meant for Timothy until
later when I was showering and trying to wash away my sadness
along with the dirt and grime of the day. Just then I heard
a little voice from the other side of the shower curtain. Timothy
was there in the bathroom, near me, and singing quietly, "Praise
Him, praise Him, all you little children." He sang this
children's hymn all the way through. But he wasn't finished
yet. As he stroked and cradled his favorite bathtub toy, a little
rubber duck, he quietly said, "I love you, God." Sacred
moment!
(Editor's note: Timothy's grandma is Audray Johnson. His
Dad is now home and doing fine.) |
| Two
(2): Rabbi Bradley Arnston of Mission Viejo, California,
compares the treatment of the Torah scroll with the treatment
of a child. When the rabbi and elders enter the synagogue with
the sacred Torah, they carry it in their arms as one carries
a child. They unwrap (undress) it, kiss it, read it and then
wrap it again carefully and lovingly. Then they carry it to
its sacred "cradle." This, says Rabbi Arnston, is
how we must regard the little ones given to us. |
| Three
(3): Rex Johnson, a pastor and therapist from Long Beach,
California, suggests that we can find creative ways to affirm
our children. For example, "Someday I'll be proud to carry
your brief case!" Comparing our children with exquisite
stores or luxury items can provide fresh ways of expressing
their value. "You have a Neiman-Marcus mind!" (Perhaps
your choice will be Macy's, Harrods, or the finest store or
high quality item your family knows about.) |
Four
(4): Your children are God's property, bought with a price.
Be very particular, O fathers and mothers, to treat them in
a Christlike manner. (Child Guidance, p. 27)
Exact obedience in your family; but while you do this, seek
the Lord with your children, and ask Him to come in and rule.
Your children may have done something that demands punishment;
but if you deal with them in the spirit of Christ, their arms
will be thrown about your neck; they will humble themselves
before the Lord and will acknowledge their wrong. That is enough.
They do not then need punishment. Let us thank the Lord that
He has opened the way by which we may reach every soul.
If your children are disobedient, they should be corrected.
. . . Before correcting them, go by yourself, and ask the Lord
to soften and subdue the hearts of your children and to give
you wisdom in dealing with them. Never in a single instance
have I known this method to fail. You cannot make a child understand
spiritual things when the heart is stirred with passion. (Child
Guidance, p. 244) |
Five
(5): This mother's mode of government set my mind on a study.
She forced them to self-assertion in various improper ways,
showing the mother's management was a sorry failure. . . . All
this mother seemed to know of government was that of brute force.
She was threatening, intimidating. Her youngest children seemed
to have a fear to stir. Others looked hard and defiant. Some
looked ashamed and distressed.
I longed to preach a sermon to that mother. I thought if that
mother knew her responsibility as a mother, she would not pursue
the course she had done in that depot. . . . Every harsh word,
every passionate blow, would react upon her again. If she were
calm and patient and kind in her discipline, the power of her
example for good would be seen in her children's deportment.
. . . How many souls such mothers will gain to the fold of Christ
is a question. I really do not believe they will gather one
soul to Jesus. They train, they rule, they ruin. (E. G. White,
quoted in Adventist Heritage, Summer, 1990, p. 26) |
References
Coles, R. (1990). The spiritual life of children. Boston:
Houghton Mifflin Company.
White, E. G. (1954). Child guidance. Hagerstown, MD: Review
& Herald Publishing Association.
White, E.
G. (1990, Summer). A letter to Elizabeth: Ellen White's 1880 trip
to California. Adventist Heritage, 13 (2), 26-28.
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