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LET
LOVE'S LIGHT SHINE
by
Karen & Ron Flowers
Directors, Department of Family
Ministries, General Conference
1993
| Theme:
Each Christian married couple is a ministering unit whose love
and oneness is a powerful means of sharing the gospel and uplifting
the lives of other couples and individuals. |
| Theme
Text: Gen. 2:24; John 13:34, 35; 17:21; Eph. 2:14 |
| Presentation
Notes: Throughout the following outline, numbers in
parentheses (1), (2), (3) will indicate items from the section
called Sermon Illumination which may be used for illustration.
The addition of your personal illustrations will enhance the
presentation. |
Is there anyone
who doesn't enjoy attending a wedding? Everything about a wedding,
the candles, the flowers, the music, the attire, especially the
bride's gown, all are intended to make a glowing statement about
marriage. Marriage is important to us. On their wedding day each
couple is eager to find some way to give expression to their feelings!
(1)
Human marriage is important to God. God intends that each marriage
will make a special statement to the world. That statement grows
out of the uniqueness of marriage, its oneness.
Biblical
Uniqueness of Marriage: "One Flesh"
Genesis 2:24 conveys what the Bible considers the central, unique
quality of marriage—the experience of being one-flesh.
This "one-fleshness" refers to more than just the physical
union of husband and wife. The intent is that they also would be
one in spirit, one in their hopes and dreams and goals. (2)
Male and female share a common origin. The same Creator fashioned
them. The woman was fashioned from Adam's rib. She comes, therefore,
from the same earth material as he (Gen. 2:7; 3:19). Neither one
was superior to the other. "Eve was created from a rib taken
from the side of Adam, signifying that she was not to control him
as the head, nor to be trampled under his feet as an inferior, but
to stand by his side as an equal, to be loved and protected by him."—Ellen
G. White, Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 46.
Through the narrative of Genesis 2 until this point, adam
designates the one who awaits a companion. With her arrival, the
sexual distinctiveness of the two genders of humankind becomes evident.
"Man" is now called ish and the "woman" isshah
(Gen. 2:23). Originally one being, they are now two beings. They
are complementary, harmonious parts of one humanity. Genesis 5:2,
like Genesis 1:26, 27, indicates that this oneness was so complete
"in the day when they were created" that they had one
name, "Adam," given them by God. Together they were "Adam."
Only after the Fall do we read of the name "Eve" being
given the woman.
Barriers
to Oneness
When sin altered human nature at the Fall, the husband-wife relationship
was changed. The curse of sin brought a curse upon the marriage
relationship (Gen. 3:16). Henceforth, where sin reigned, marriage
would suffer from selfishness, the quest for personal gratification,
and the tendency to exploit or dominate another. In their sinless
state neither of the sexes ruled the other. But with the Fall, their
masculinity and femininity were distorted and their delicate alignment
in marriage was disturbed. (3)
Scripture points to the sinfulness of the heart as the source of
difficulty in relationships between us as human beings as well as
between us and God (Jer. 17:9). This heart condition often produces
a sense of worthlessness, and one may consciously or unconsciously
act this out by withdrawal, by hiding feelings, by a lack of communication,
or by fighting, blaming, or seeking to control others. Selfishness
causes normal human differences in age, race, gender, temperament,
attitudes, habits and experience to be aggravated. Disagreements,
anger and conflict often result. The closer together we try to bring
our fallen hearts, as in marriage, the greater the potential for
discord.
Culture often institution-alizes fallen models of marriage, which
are then considered normative. As both Scripture and human history
bear witness, marriage has fallen far from the way of Eden. The
curse has brought to marriage abuses and distortions of every kind
imaginable. Culture often institutionalizes fallen models of marriage,
which are then considered normative. The assault of the enemy upon
marriage and its unique quality of oneness is comparable to the
perversions and corruption brought upon the Sabbath truth. Many
couples today long for more from marriage. In various ways they
try to cope. (4) For those who apply the gospel of God's grace to
their relationship, marriage takes on the qualities our loving Creator
intended.
One Again
in Christ
Despite sin, God did not abandon His original plan for human beings
to experience oneness in marriage. According to Genesis 2:24, the
divine intention for marriage is for each couple, even after the
Fall, to reenact in their relationship such oneness. Jesus reaffirmed
the Edenic ideals of marriage (Matt. 19:5, 6), knowing that the
gospel He brought redeemed marriage, redeemed men and women, and
provided the means whereby couples could experience this sacred
institution as God planned.
"Like every other one of God's good gifts entrusted to the
keeping of humanity, marriage has been perverted by sin; but it
is the purpose of the gospel to restore its purity and beauty."—Ellen
G. White, Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing, p. 64.
"Without any fuss or publicity, Jesus terminated the curse
of the Fall, reinvested woman with her partially lost nobility,
and reclaimed for his new kingdom community the original creation
blessing of sexual equality.—John Stott, Involvement: Social
and Sexual Relationships in the Modern World, p. 136.
Genuine Christianity abolishes all religious, cultural, social or
gender barriers which separate people from each other (see Gal.
3:28). The cross of Christ is the source of reconciliation (see
Eph. 2:14-18). The curse involved the wife's subjection. When the
gospel concept of mutual submission (Eph. 5:21-28) is believed and
practiced, it has the practical effect of neutralizing the curse
and its effects by emphasizing instead the love and service of husband
and wife to each other. Christ makes a difference in the marriage
of Christians. A new mutuality prevails. Husbands and wives are
"heirs together of the grace of life" (1 Peter 3:1-7).
(5)
The Witness
of the Oneness
Jesus was concerned for the witness of His disciples to others (John
13:35). Where better to find a love for one another that would testify
to the world about Him than in Christian marriage? He longed for
oneness among His followers which likewise would be a testimony
for God in the world (John 17:20-23). Where better could He look
for such oneness than in the hearts of couples who have found their
salvation in Him and demonstrate His grace toward each other in
their married life?
"Jesus once told His disciples that we are the `light of the
world,' and that we should not try to be like other people, hiding
our light under convention's bushels, but rather that we should
put our lamp on a stand and let it give `light to all in the house'
(Matt. 5:14-15). Could it be that that is finally the task of Christian
marriage? Is it not only a lifelong vocation in which we wrestle
and grow and learn and fight for our commitment to God and to each
other, but is it also to be a light shining into the darkness of
our society's homes? . . .
"By the way we spouses get along with each other and with our
children, we tell our agonized society that there is hope of healing
for its grievous wounds, or we announce that the patient has the
`sickness unto death' and that there is no possibility of recovery.
By the way we conduct our marriages, we proclaim that Jesus Christ
has won the victory over sin in the marital sphere too, or we confess
that He is powerless to reconcile husband and wife, parents and
children, old folks and youth."—Elizabeth Achtemeier,
The Committed Marriage, pp. 107, 108.
Marriage
as Ministry
Setting the home atmosphere. The health of the whole family depends
heavily on the health of the marriage relationship. (6) The first
setting in which marriage ministers is to those who dwell in our
homes with us.
Beyond the sphere of our homes. "Our sympathies are to overflow
the boundaries of self and the enclosure of family walls. There
are precious opportunities for those who will make their homes a
blessing to others. Social influence is a wonderful power. We can
use it if we will as a means of helping those about us."—Ellen
G. White, The Ministry of Healing, p. 354.
Each Christian married couple is a ministering unit which can be
highly effective in reaching out to strengthen and encourage other
couples and individuals. Needs exist today for couples to minister
to other couples within and outside the church. A great need is
present in the lives of countless husbands and wives for guidance
and encouragement in their marriages. Fewer and fewer couples have
models of lasting, committed, satisfying marriages. Fewer and fewer
have any genuine friends. We, as Christian couples, could be those
friends. (7)
Special meetings needed for couples. Ellen White wrote of the benefits
to be gained by talking out our experience, so that others may be
aided in their spiritual growth.
"All have not the same experience in their religious life.
But those of diverse exercises come together and with simplicity
and humbleness of mind talk out their experience. All who are pursuing
the onward Christian course should have, and will have, an experience
that is living, that is new and interesting. A living experience
is made up of daily trials, conflicts, and temptations, strong efforts
and victories, and great peace and joy gained through Jesus. A simple
relation of such experiences gives light, strength, and knowledge
that will aid others in their advancement in the divine life."—Ellen
G. White, Testimonies for the Church, Vol. 2, p. 579.
Just as individuals are refreshed and encouraged by meeting and
sharing together, so married couples need the periodic refreshment,
encouragement and renewal that comes from sharing their experiences,
their thoughts and feelings with other couples. The sacred circle
that gives a couple individuality and privacy should remain in place,
but that circle should not become a wall which prevents fellowship
and encouragement to flow into the relationship and out of it. In
the presence of other caring couples, husbands and wives have seen
a practical demonstration of God's love, have found reassurance
for their identity, comfort in the midst of difficulty, hope to
carry them forward and inspiration to work together for God. (8)
Conclusion
The nurture and outreach potential of marriage to marriage ministry
is enormous. As couples realize the healing, enriching implications
of Christian faith for marriage, the way will be prepared for them
to reach out in dynamic relational evangelism, building bridges
of friendship to non-Christian couples which will put them in touch
with One who greatly cares about our marriages, who likened Himself
to a bridegroom deeply in love with His bride, His Church. (9)
|
Sermon
Illumination
|
| One
(1): Weddings give a glimpse of the couple's love for
each other. "Recently some young friends of ours gave
us the great honor of participating in their wedding ceremony.
. . . It was a day for making memories. Enraptured by the setting,
the music, the inspiring words of the minister, and most of
all the presence of his beautiful bride, the groom excitedly
replied to the question, "Will you take this woman . .
. ?" with a resounding "I sure will!" His romantic
flair overcame all inhibitions when, upon their introduction
as husband and wife, he boldly scooped her into his arms and
strode exuberantly off the rostrum down several steep steps
to the sanctuary floor."—Karen and Ron Flowers, Love
Aflame, p. 76. |
| Two
(2): "One flesh"—the essence of marriage.
"Scripture upholds one all-encompassing ideal as the essence
of marriage—becoming `one flesh'. This tiny phrase has
tremendous implications. It speaks of physical intimacy, yet
much more. Emotional and spiritual bonding, mutual giving and
receiving, exclusiveness, unswerving devotion, total commitment—all
find themselves encompassed in this compact blueprint for marriage.
Such oneness does not call for the surrender of personhood,
of one becoming lost in the shadow of the other. Rather it represents
a complete unity, mutuality, and harmony between two distinct
persons who maintain full personhood and full equality."—Ibid.,
p. 98. |
| Three
(3): Subjection of Eve identified as a part of the curse.
"When God created Eve, He designed that she should possess
neither inferiority nor superiority to the man, but that in
all things she should be his equal. . . . But after Eve's sin,
as she was the first in the transgression, the Lord told her
that Adam should rule over her. She was to be in subjection
to her husband, and this was a part of the curse."—Ellen
G. White, Testimonies for the Church, Vol. 3, p. 484. |
| Four
(4): Wife seeks better marriage through karate lessons.
An abused wife confided in her doctor that she truly wanted
to stay in the marriage, but could endure her husband's attacks
no longer. Not being a Christian doctor, he told her that to
survive the marriage she would need karate lessons. So for six
months, unknown to her husband, she trained. At length the instructor
notified her doctor, "She's prepared." "Now",
said her doctor, "You know what to do." When the husband
started to abuse her again, she knocked him to the floor and
held him in a strong grip for more than an hour. He was surprised.
He raged. He reasoned. He pled with her. Finally, he wept. He
never beat her again.—Adapted from a report in the newsletter
Marriage and Divorce Today. |
|
Five
(5): Equality and unity between husband and wife restored.
"It is because of our commitment to Christ that we are
able to grant one another in marriage full equality, personhood,
and freedom. It is in Christ that the brokenness of the relationship
between male and female is overcome, and the possibility of
joyful equality and unity between husband and wife is restored."—Elizabeth
Achtemeier, The Committed Marriage, p. 104.
|
| Six
(6): Marriage: the home heating system. "Mutual
affection between husband and wife will be to the family what
the heating system is to a house. It will maintain the relationship
of all family members in a pleasant and comfortable atmosphere.
That does not mean, however, that the peace of the family will
never be disturbed. Striving to maintain a superficial peace
may actually create a less happy home than allowing hostility,
when it arises, to express itself and be resolved. The point
is that a family in which there is true affection can meet disturbance
of this kind without suffering harm. It is not the absence of
problems that marks the truly happy family, but the confident
assurance that relationships in the home are so basically sound
that family members can deal with any problems which may arise."—David
& Vera Mace, In the Presence of God, p. 109. |
| Seven
(7): Centers of contagious friendliness. "A
Christian home should be, in fact, a center of contagious friendliness,
with open doors toward all human need."—Ibid., p.
98. |
Eight
(8): Marriage enrichment program brings blessings.
"It has been almost two years since we went through the
Marriage Enrichment Seminar. There has been a dramatic change
in our home. The hours we used to spend watching television
are now spent reading and studying. The tapes on righteousness
by faith that had been in the desk drawer for a year have been
taken out and listened to. The Lord has led us step by step
in our Christian growth. Our communication skills have improved
as a result of the things we learned at Marriage Enrichment.
We find it much easier to communicate our deep feelings to each
other and to talk over our problems. Our relationship with our
teen-agers has also improved.
"I used to worry about not being able to witness to those
around me. After Marriage Enrichment that was no longer a problem.
When Jesus has changed your life the way He did mine, you can't
help but share it with others."—Arlene Jenkins, quoted
in Roger and Peggy Dudley, Married and Glad of It, pp.
138, 139. |
Nine
(9): Persevering couple wins the couple next door. "Within
hours of arriving at our new home we had to leave for camp meeting.
I ran next door to meet our neighbors and to ask if they would
water our house plants for the next two weeks. A lady with a
gruff voice answered my knock, 'What do you want?'
'I'm Lillian, your new neighbor. We have to go away for two
weeks, would you mind watering our house plants? Here's the
key to our house.'
She took it without a smile or a word and closed the door.
Back home, I said to my husband, 'I don't know what to think
of our neighbor. She looked angry. She just took the key and
closed the door.'
Two weeks later, I greeted my neighbor with a smile and handed
her a gift. 'This is for being so good to me,' I said, suggesting
that she could keep the key because I had another one. With
no response she closed the door.
The next day I took her a loaf of fresh homemade bread. She
received it without a smile or a word. A few days later I made
some cinnamon rolls, and again there was not even a smile or
a 'thank you'. I tried flowers and an apple pie, but I just
couldn't seem to get close to her.
One day my evangelist husband came home with a beautiful bouquet
of roses given to him by one of the couples he had visited.
We decided together to give them to our neighbors. With a smile
I delivered them saying, 'A friend gave us some roses, and I
want to share some with you.'
With a bewildered look on her face, she invited me, 'Come in.'
As I entered, I saw a man lying on the couch.
'This is my husband, Jim,' the lady said.
'Hello, Jim, I'm Lillian.'
'I know your name is Lillian. I heard you introduce yourself
when you brought the key. By the way, my wife's name is Lou.'
Still looking bewildered and unsmiling, Lou said, 'How is it
that you trusted me with a key to your home when you didn't
even know me? Why are you doing all these things for us? Nobody
has ever brought us homemade bread and roses. No one ever cared
like you do. Why are you doing all these things?'
Putting the flowers on the table, I put my arms around Lou and
after a hug and a kiss, I said, 'It's because I love you.' Lou
just kept repeating, 'I don't understand, I don't understand.'
They invited me to sit down. I learned that both Lou and Jim
were in very poor health.
"I was so glad I didn't give up!" He had heart trouble,
and she had a combination of painful problems. Their only son
had gone deep-sea fishing and the boat had never returned. He
was presumed lost at sea. Before I left their home, they readily
consented to my request to offer a short prayer.
Now that the ice was broken, I was a welcome visitor in their
home. After learning about their health, I often made two extra
portions when I was preparing a meal and took two trays over.
During one visit Jim and Lou told me of their spiritual situation.
They had come from different religious backgrounds–one
Catholic and the other Protestant. During courtship their discussions
of religion had led to arguments. When Jim proposed marriage,
Lou accepted on two conditions–they would never discuss
religion and he would never force her go to church. They admitted
that they had missed a lot by not attending church.
One day I told them about the Gift Bible Plan sponsored by our
church. I showed them the Bible and the reading guides and asked
if they would like to participate. They both agreed. Before
that day was over, Lou brought me the study guides with all
the answers neatly written. Soon they had completed the entire
series and asked if we had any more courses they could do. They
finished a second course, and then, because we had to be away,
we suggested a correspondence course.
Lou wanted to share with her sister the things she was learning
from the Bible. We were able to enroll her sister in the Gift
Bible Plan also. Lou and Jim remarked that since studying these
lessons they were now able to discuss the Bible without an argument.
When evangelistic meetings were held in a Seventh-day Adventist
church near us, we invited Jim and Lou to attend. They went
faithfully and, at the conclusion of the series, were both baptized.
As I observed their baptism, I thought back to those early visits
and the lack of any visible response. I was so glad I didn't
give up!"
Contributed by Lillian Knowles, lay evangelist and wife of former
General Conference Church Ministries Director George Knowles. |
References
Achtemeier, Elizabeth. The Committed Marriage. Philadelphia:
The Westminster Press, 1976.
Dudley, Roger and Peggy. Married and Glad of It. Hagerstown,
MD: Review and Herald Publishing Association, 1980.
Flowers, Karen and Ron. Love Aflame. Hagerstown, MD: Review
and Herald Publishing Assoc., 1992.
Mace, David & Vera. In the Presence of God. Philadelphia:
The Westminster Press, 1985.
Stott, John. Involvement: Social and Sexual Relationships in
the Modern World. Old Tappan, New Jersey: Fleming H. Revell
Co., 1984.
White, Ellen G. Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing. Nampa,
ID: Pacific Press Publishing Association, 1946.
_______. Patriarchs and Prophets. Nampa, ID: Pacific Press
Publishing Association, 1958.
_______. Testimonies for the Church, vol 2. Nampa, ID: Pacific
Press Publishing Association, 1948.
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